Hi there! 🌟
So, let me take you on a little journey about how I stumbled upon the concept of personal boundaries. Now it took me a while to learn this, and they really should teach it at school, if not in every workplace. But hey better late than never, right?
The Chat with My Coach
It all started with a casual chat with my coach. We were talking about “red flags”—you know, those little warning signs that something isn’t quite right. I always thought red flags were just for relationships, but was I wrong! My coach explained that red flags can pop up in all areas of life, especially when it comes to our personal boundaries.
What Are Personal Boundaries Anyway?
Personal boundaries are like invisible lines that protect our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. They help us define what is acceptable and what isn’t in our interactions with others. Think of them as your personal space bubble, but for your mind and heart too. A red flag moment is when one of those boundaries are crossed.
My Aha Moment
During our conversation, my coach asked me to think about times when I felt uncomfortable, stressed, or just plain drained. As I reflected, I realized that many of these moments were due to my lack of boundaries. I was saying “yes” when I wanted to say “no,” taking on too much work, and not prioritizing my own needs. It was a real eye-opener! What are your red flags coach Colin asked? I went back and thought it through, lack of being valued, lack of space to learn, lack of growth opportunities, energy sucking people that were incompatible with my core values.... There were quite a few.
Enter Viva Insights
Now, here’s where things get interesting. I decided to use Viva Insights to document my own red flags around learning, growth, and values. If you haven’t heard of Viva Insights, it’s this amazing tool that helps you track your work patterns and well-being. It was like having a personal assistant that nudged me to pay attention to my own needs. One of the things is does is to allow you to confidentially check in on your emotional state, and reflect on why you may be there. You don't need Viva Insights for this, paper will do, but I love tech, and more importantly like to understand first hand how what we promote as a company can actually be useful in people's lives.
Documenting My Red Flags
I started by noting down situations where I felt overwhelmed or out of sync with my values. For example, I realized that I felt drained after meetings that didn’t align with my goals. Or when I took on projects that didn’t contribute to my growth. By documenting these red flags, I could see patterns and understand where I needed to set boundaries.
The Impact of Setting Boundaries
Be careful. It may change your life for the better. Once I started setting boundaries, things began to change. I felt more in control of my time and energy. I learned to say “no” without feeling guilty and to prioritize tasks that aligned with my values. "you can look after other's if you can't look after yourself" was something at the back of my mind. It wasn’t always easy, but the benefits were undeniable. I was happier, less stressed, and more focused on what truly mattered to me, and found others that aligned to this.
Final Thoughts
Discovering the importance of personal boundaries in my 40s was a game-changer. It taught me to respect my own needs and to create a healthier balance in my life. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or out of sync, take a moment to reflect on your boundaries. And if you need a little help, tools like Viva Insights (or even a journal) can be a great starting point.
Remember, it’s never too late to start setting boundaries and taking care of yourself. Here’s to a happier, healthier you! Take each day at a time, and know full well it's more than okay not to be ok, recognising it is your inner strength 🥂
Feel free to share your own experiences or tips on setting boundaries in the comments below. Let’s support each other on this journey!
Dedicated to Debbie an old school friend, who reminded me they didn't teach us this at school.
Gareth Jones is CEO and Founder of Lightrise Consulting (www.lightriseconsulting.com) a specialist Microsoft Partner providing business answers and solutions to improve ESG and people experiences.









